Reclaiming Your Crown: Mindset Shifts for the Natural Hair Journey

If you’ve been thinking of finally taking the step to embrace your natural hair and stop relaxing it, this is for you. It’s not just a hair decision—it’s an opportunity to get honest with your Self…

To reflect on some of the limiting belief systems that may be holding you back from fully loving your natural Self. These ideas are often so deeply rooted, we don’t even realize we’re carrying them…

This is an invitation to pause, reflect, and explore your own story—your own beliefs. Let’s take a look together.

1. What Were You Told About Afro Hair?

“Good hair,” “bad hair,” “looking too black,” or “not professional”—sound familiar? Many of us grew up with these messages, whether subtle or direct. Sometimes they came from family, friends, schools, even the workplace. I remember someone telling me my hair looked “wild” when I wore it out naturally. That stuck. But was it my belief—or someone else’s?

This is about exploring the honest belief systems you picked up when you were growing up—both the uplifting ones and the painful ones.

Journal Prompts:

• What were you told about your hair growing up—directly or indirectly?
• Can you recall a moment when you felt shame or pride about your hair?
• Whose voices shaped how you see afro hair today?
• How have those beliefs impacted the choices you make about your hair?
• If no one ever gave you their opinion, what would you believe about your hair?

2. Roots with Shame

Has this become a form of self-programming? So often I hear people say, “It’s time to get my roots relaxed…” or even in the natural hair community, “My locs are looking a mess” when the new growth starts showing. Why does growth trigger panic or shame?

Even with locs, I noticed how people would rush to retwist once the roots show up. But what’s wrong with having roots—your roots—be visible? Why do we feel the need to “tidy them up” immediately?

Really… what if we just accepted our hair, even when the roots start showing up? It’s not a sign that we are not looking after our Self or that our hair needs taming again.

3. Embracing Your Hair Without Curl Definition

There’s a heavy focus—even in the natural hair space—on curl definition. “Let your curls pop”, “let’s get rid of that frizz”, they say. But what if your hair doesn’t have a defined curl pattern? What if it grows how it grows?

That was my case. I realized my head had different textures of hair (which is very common), and my “curl definition” didn’t match what was shown on the label of curly hair products. It took me a while to unlearn the idea that defined curls equal beauty.

Journal Prompts:

• Do you associate beauty with a specific curl type?
• How do you feel when your hair doesn’t look like product ads?
• Have you tried to change your texture to fit a certain look?
• What would loving your hair in its rawest form mean to you?
• What does your hair want to show you when you stop forcing it to perform?

4. Depending on Others to Care for Your Hair

Don’t get me wrong—going to the right salon or person can be a deeply healing experience. But when we depend on others and don’t know how to manage our own hair, we disconnect from it.

What if instead of always going to get it “done”, you saw it as a ritual of Self care? Something you get to do, not have to. Imagine the money you could save—and the confidence you could build—by skipping a few appointments and reconnecting with your crown at home.

Journal Prompts:

• How comfortable are you with doing your own hair?
• Do you feel fear, resistance, or freedom when thinking about at-home care?
• What has kept you from taking ownership of your hair rituals?
• What would learning to love that process look like?
• Could you treat your hair sessions like acts of self-love rather than maintenance?

5. Redefining What Beauty Means to YOU

We’ve been taught a lot about what beauty should look like. Laid edges, sleekness, and symmetry. But what if beauty were unruly, full, and soft all at once? What if it didn’t have to be “tidy and neat” to fit in? Thankfully, with the digital age and social media, we can search and explore natural hair inspiration.

Redefining beauty is a personal decision. No magazine, influencer, or stylist can do that for you. You get to decide what beauty means—and feels—like.

Journal Prompts:

• What does beauty feel like to you—not look like, but feel like?
• Where did your current beauty ideals come from?
• Have you ever felt beautiful in your natural state? Why or why not?
• What parts of your beauty are you ready to reclaim or redefine?
• What would it feel like to be beautiful on your terms?

This journey is more than a “big chop” or a hair routine. It’s a sacred homecoming. One root at a time. One belief at a time. Let your hair be your teacher. Let it lead you back to your Self.