So Much More Than Hair: 5 Tips For Radical Self Love

I remember hearing “I Am Not My Hiar” and thinking YES, my hair is part of so much more – An expression of my Self and the bigger picture! It’s about radical Self love on all levels, not just physical.

Many natural women will say that having natural hair was an extension or a starting point of really diving into our Self – Mind, body and soul. I love hearing how many natural women will tell me that having natural hair helped them grow in confidence, learn about holistic health and Self care. This is all part of Self love.

In my own personal hair journey, there have been MANY times (especially throughout my 1st set of locs) where I felt ugly… inside and out. I was going through a huge transition in my life and my locs were started as part of my commitment to Self love and my path into spirituality. Somewhere along the way, I started to explore my Self more and it’s always an ongoing process that i try to do every single day. Good days, bad days… it’s all part of the journey that I have grown to love so much!

While having natural hair is a personal thing and will not be a spiritual process for everyone…  it’s still part of how we express our Self. How we express our Self is very much tied in to how we care for our Self.


“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” ~ Rumi


Take a moment to reflect on your own natural hair journey:

Here are some reflection questions for you to meditate and reflect on…

  • Why did you start your natural hair and/or locing journey?
  • What challenges on Self love did you come across along the way?
  • What have you learned about your Self since becoming natural?
  • How have these lessons extended into other areas of your life?

Check out the tips below!

How do we really practice radical Self-love? Try these simple tips!

Honour the place you are in your life right now…

“You are exactly where you need to be. ” – This is something I kept reading in so many places, yet it can be a challenge to acknowledge, appreciate and be grounded in this statement. Even if everything is going wrong in our life now, there is a positive lesson in it to learn.

More recently, we have all been pushed and pulled on so many levels – on a personal, social, environmental, and political level. It’s not hard to see that challenges in our modern time are becoming part of our daily life. It’s no longer just about it being “out there”… Global changes are part of our own choices too.

In order to honour your Self and where you are right now, maybe moving forward is about seeing how much you have learned along the way so far, up until this point.

So what are you learning NOW about your Self, at this stage in your life? Honour this stage as a place to explore and dive deeper.

If you are at this point for a good reason, what lessons/experiences/challenges/etc are helping you learn about who you are – And where you want to be in your life?

Start by tuning into active gratitude…

The last tip extends deeply into having gratitude for what we have now – even down to the smallest things.

When we are in deep gratitude for what we have (even if we aim for more!), something amazing starts to shift in our Self. We start to operate from our heart space. Wonderful things start to happen when we are more in tune with this area of our energy system and physical body.

Scientific research from Institute of HeartMath  a nonprofit research and education organization, has shown some wonderful findings. With over two decades of validated scientific research, some of these findings record that the heart to be approximately 60 times greater electrically and up to 5,000 times stronger magnetically than the brain. In addition,  their research explores the link between the heart and emotions, revealing the significance of the heart’s electromagnetic field that changes according to emotional states.

What are you feeling grateful for right now? Being in a state of gratitude and in our heart space, this affects how we feel about our Self too – and the choices we then make. Maybe this is the perfect invitation to take every moment to just connect to gratitude.

Hold space for your intuition…

How often do you tune into your inner voice? Sadly, in this modern era, we are not taught to value this. Ego, logic and a strong proof-based reason is often favoured. While this is not wrong in any way, we are missing out on the importance of exploring our own intuitive Self.

I am sure you can think of times in your life where you went against your inner voice, only to find that it was right all along?

Most times, we have suppressed our tuning-in process so much that we may now be unsure if what we feel is really our intuition or not.

The next time you are unsure – A quick tip: Take this moment to close your eyes, tune into your body and breathing patterns – And ask your Self the question for guidance. The answer or response (even if it doesn’t make much sense) will often come from 2 places – From the head space (it will be loud and repetitive) or from your heart space (quiet and responding once). Your heart space is where your intuitive Self lies. It might just be a really soft whisper, but it will be there.

As with everything you learn, you need to practice to tune in! Hold space for your intuition to blossom… You can do this by setting an intention at the beginning of the day to be open to it. Or you can consciously ask your Self questions throughout the day and allow the answers to come when they are ready. This exercise is great to do as a journal experience to keep track of your progress and how your intuition can lead you to amazing places/people/experiences.

How do you start your mornings?

Our mornings can make a HUGE difference in our life. Even if you are not a morning person and you have many things to juggle from the moment you wake up, it only takes a few mindful things to change and set the energy for the rest of the day.

Think about how you started your day – Was it rushed and stressful or peaceful and relaxed? Is this how you normally start your days too? And do you notice changes to the rest of your day when you do have a good morning?

Quick tip: Set your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier than normal and make those 15 minutes YOUR time. You can choose to stay in bed and just connect with your breath, to set an intention for the day or to make this a moment for connecting to gratitude.

Creating simple small routines that will nurture you…

Many of us will have a long list of things To-Do… How many of us put our Self as part of the list? Making quality time for your Self does not have to take long – and you can actually do it throughout the day.

Here are some ideas to get started…

  • Look at your weekly schedule and mark out some time to dedicate to your Self
  • Try doing just 3 minutes of meditation in the morning for a week and see how you feel before/after each session
  • Take a long bath
  • Go out for a walk in any green spaces near you – Observe nature and the seasons
  • Get out of your comfort zone and try new activities
  • Look out for courses that you can enrol in to do things you love, like dancing, yoga etc
  • Spot check your breathing patterns throughout the day and take a moment to actively breathe deeper and slow it all down
  • Stretch your body in any way that feels good
  • Take time to connect with people you love and inspire you
  • Journal writing every day
  • Make room for things and people who inspire you and make you *feel* good
  • Use affirmations to affirm your Self love
  • Get creative in any way that helps you “lose your Self” in a good flow
  • Pick up a good book to read during breaks
  • Treat your Self to flowers once a week

Maybe you can make a list of all the things you LOVE to do… just for you. And slowly tick them off or include them in your weekly schedule.

Remember, doing things for your Self is NOT selfish! Many clients I work with say that they feel guilty or selfish for taking time out from their work/family/friendships/relationship/etc to do “their thing”… What if you looked at it this way: You are a ball of energy… you give it out all the time to everything in your life (like the things/people I just mentioned). In order to maintain a good flow of energy, you need to take time to re-charge your own energy flow. essentially, the more you take care of you and your energy – the MORE you have to give to everything/everyone around you. It’s an investment of time, not a waste of time. 

I hope this inspires you! 💛


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