I honestly can’t believe that I haven’t done a blog post on this topic before – This is such a common thing with locers. Let me share my recent experience, my reflections and some tips that might help you if you are going through it.
Let’s be honest here, have you ever felt this during your loc journey? Maybe you’re experiencing this right now and did a search for it? Maybe someone has felt loc envy towards your locs? I want this to be an open discussion and turn it into something positive.
Before I share my tips, here are some personal reflections:
🌟 A confession: My recent experience…
I want to be open with you – The other night, I had a serious case of loc envy that I could not shake off… Yes, it was bad! I was trying out a loc style and it went all wrong. After a few failed attempts, I was checking out many YouTube videos and Pinterest pics for gallery pictures of this style – And that little devil of envy started to creep up in me. I could feel it just taking over, getting worst after each video or picture I stared at. Then the negative Self chatter appeared: “If your locs were thinner, maybe you would be better at styling”… “Why can’t my locs be as full as hers?”… “I just feel super ugly right now”… “Maybe I should trim to get a loc bob like this lady because your long locs are looking really tired”… It went on and on and ON…
Suddenly, I mentally shouted “STOP!” as I saw my Self getting caught up in this negative Self talk cycle andI took a moment to breathe deeply, turn the computer off and take time to get real about what was really going on under everything I had just experienced.
Here came my reflection and tools for moments like this when I am feeling envy or comparing my Self to others on their journey. I had to write this blog post too!
🌟 Loc set 1 Vs Loc set 2 Experiences: How social media has changed everything…
I started my 1st set of locs back in 2001, when social media and the use of the internet to share pictures was practically non-existent! Thanks to amazing online hair community forums (BIG LOVE for Nappturality.com that paved the way!), I was able to get some information and see a few pictures of what other locers were doing.
My 2nd set of locs started in 2013. Now the online natural hair community is a huge business machine! I am so grateful for the fact that we can all just Google anything and find what we want – Natural hair pictures are everywhere. The main difference I notice now on my 2nd loc journey is that I have been experiencing some serious loc envy issues (during the 1st year of losing – and randomly now again these days)… What happened?!? I honestly can’t remember feeling this way on my 1st set loc journey – I was just grateful to even come across a loc picture lol!
🌟 We only seee the filtered version – There is usually so much more going on…
We live in a time where everyone seems to be sharing everything online – EXCEPT the challenging moments. It’s easy to post up the highlights, it’s even easier to hide the challenges that we had to go through in order to get to the highlights. I can understand – Sharing our hard times means being super vulnerable.
The danger of just seeing one side is that we don’t see the WHOLE picture – In this case with the loc pictures, I didn’t see how much time and effort (even money) it took to take those amazing loc pictures – Or how many shots it took to get this picture in the first place – Or the times when this beautiful loced sister/brother went through moments of doubt and had to work on their own issues of Self love and beauty – Or when they weren’t accepted by members of family/friends who did not support their choice to loc (all random examples)… I can go on about possible scenarios. You get what I am saying… We just don’t know. We just see that 1 perfect beautiful loc picture.
And there is NO shame in going through the low points. Growing is about change – We often have to go through situations that deeply trigger us and emotionally push us in order to get clear, to grow, to get out of our own comfort zone, to get out of our way! For many, this is also part of the loc journey. It’s all beautiful. But we don’t appreciate it – because most of the time we might not see others sharing it.
🌟 These reflections can also be used for any areas own our life…
I offer these tips as suggestions for any time during your loc journey where you are feeling loc envy or starting to compare your locs to others and feeling down about your own gorgeous loc crown. This what worked for me – Maybe you will find it useful too.
These tips can also apply to any situations we might face were we are doing the same in other areas of our life. It’s all a reflection of who/where we are – and we have the choice to make it a positive experience.
Here are some tips to turn loc envy around – Into loc inspiration!
💛 Radical Self love!
Yes, let’s focus on this and take some time to nurture our Self – Envy and comparing our Self to others in any area of our life is an invitation for radical Self love. It is also a reminder to take back our power and focus on the area of life we felt this in.
The rest of these tips really stem from the first one of radical Self love. Challenging emotions (some may call them negative emotions) are balls of raw energy – We can use them to either channel it in a Self destructive way – or to power up and channel/focus on our loving Self.
🌟 Reflection Question: What is loc envy teaching me about my Self and how I feel about my journey now? What would make me feel good about who I am, inside and out?
Suggested Blog Post: So Much More Than Hair: 5 Tips For Radical Self Love
💛 Start experimenting with loc styles
As with many areas of life, we can get into a routine rut on how we do things – including our loc care. Maybe this is the perfect opportunity to try out new loc styles, to colour your locs and to pamper them? There are plenty of online resources to show you how to do this.
If you’re not feeling like DIY styling, you could seek out and book an appointment with a loctician to do this for you – Make a fun day of it… You could go out afterwards, get some delicious food, get a scalp massage, meet up with friends… Whatever feels good to enjoy your locs and natural beauty!
💛 Write a list
I am a fan of writing lists – This way we can see everything in plain black-and-white in front of us. No hiding. You could do a loc journal entry where you write a list of all the things you love about your locs and your loc journey, all the lessons and experiences it has brought you – and why you chose to loc in the first place (important!). We all need a reminder of WHY and WHAT an experience means to us.
🌟 Reflection Question: Why did you loc your hair? What do you love most about your locs? What has this stage in your loc journey shown you about your Self? What compliments and positive experiences have you shared with others about locs – and natural hair?
💛 Create a vision board
If you’re a visual person (like me), I like to have pictures as reminders. You could either do the classic vision boards of cutting out pictures from magazines and pasting it on a large board. Or you can go digital and create a gallery where you can store pictures (like Pinterest.com) and remind your Self of why you love your locs. Here are some simple questions that you can use for the loc board pictures… post it all up and enjoy them!
🌟 Reflection Questions: Do you have any cute pictures of your locs through each stage of your loc journey? Who’s locs reminds you of your own? Who inspired you to loc in the first place? What affirmations of Self love inspire you? What quotes remind you of something positive?
💛 I HEART Meditation
I am a big fan of meditation – It helps me get very clear again on my current journey and where I am planning to go. A friend asked me to post a guided meditation that I like to use for this purpose. As a yoga teacher, I jumped at this idea.
I have a YouTube channel (find out more here) – Take some time to find a quiet space and try this meditation for your Self. This is for the natural hair journey – You can use this technique for anything in your life really!
Enjoy and happy locing ❤️